“Suicide is painless, It brings on many changes, I can take or leave it if I please.” – Theme from MASH
10/8/2013: Meet The Day That Killed Me
Continued from Hurricane Bob.
I'm not going to make any friends with this blog post.
Today is July 26th, 2017.
No lie: I'm not doing well.
Truth Is, I've Been Dead 4 Years
The events of 10/8/2013, have left me permanently malformed. I have accepted the fact I cannot control this downward spiral. Before I pull a “Chris Cornell,” I'm taking a parting shot at my enemies.
People reassure me “Karma will catch up” with John JC Baumgartner, Morgan Mcnerny, Sandra McCarthy, Nick Melillo, and I'm adding to the shitlist Doug Vanderpool, ESQ, without whose collusion, wouldn't be so fucked.
Recently, I re-synched my old Instagram. I saw my former business partners (usually blocked) vacationing in Europe, with new houses, and fancy cars. Meanwhile, the guy who got them success is reeling in the dust, broke, cripple, and homeless. I don't give a rat's ass about material shit, but seriously: Fuck karma!
It's imaginary hippie shit
The worst people rise to the top naturally.
Just look at who is president!
Prelude To Ruin
Back in 2013 one our content partner, TTboy was pissed off because his crappy ghetto porn wasn't selling and we weren't walking in his office with 70K checks.
Times had changed.
By 2013 porn hadn't been selling for a while.
Last year “adult” was a legitimate business 2008, in my opinion. Once air, freedom, AND porn free via Pornhub: Selling smut was like selling fire in hell.
And that was my job.
TT blamed everything on a “racist video” (below) I made 15 months prior mocking the Mr. Marcus syphilis incident, who infected dozens of girls by forging STD tests. I never had a problem with Mr. Marcus. I thought what he did was fucked up: SO DID EVERYBODY!
Throwback Thursday 2008: Why You Shouldn't Turn Down 8 Million Dollars!
In 2008 we turned down an 8 million dollar buyout from DeeCash (yes, you read right) My moronic business partners said, “TTBoy wouldn't be OK with it.” My stance was TT would dump us in a hot second for 8M, but was voted down. I could see the writing on the wall with porn tubes like RedTube gaining momentum. The industry was in for a rough ride.
The whole “Porn Tube phenomenon” came via a very loose interpretation of the DMCA law (the same regulation that governs sites like YouTube and Vimeo). However, the owners of Redtube and Pornhub were paying outsourcers in the Philippines / India to rip and upload stolen DVD content, which hardly fits the spirit of the law!
Fast Forward 2009
In 2009 invited to speak at the AVN’s on content piracy. I estimated, by bandwidth speeds of the day, it would take 14 hours to rip and upload one scene to a tube site. That meant no myspace, email, or file swapping while the upload clogged the user's bandwidth.
Just who were these porn philanthropists?
HMM, I wonder?
All of the tube sites were all owned by the same entity (Mandwin). The same videos would reappear just days after a DMCA complaint USING THE SAME FILENAME on another site in their network?
Still trying to connect the dots?
It wasn't tough to figure out the scheme. None of the Brainiacs in the industry could catch (Mindwin/Brazzers/Mindgeek) in the act.
“Organizing smut peddlers is like herding cats.”- Tony Morgan
Ironically, I had predicted this debacle in the late 1990's in this apocalyptic blog on Consumption Junction:
Now Back To Our Story…
As bad as the description of this Apocolypse sounds, it wasn't shit compared to October 8, 2013.
Originally, I was excited about that day because I had my first show with a new band (which was a big deal to me). A few weeks prior, I started getting calls from my parasitic business partners insisting we'd meet at OUR attorney's office (Doug Vanderpool) on Oct 8th.
Now, keep the “OUR lawyer” part in mind as (if) you keep reading,
Was I Was About To Become The First Person Banned From Porn For Being Too Big Of A Scumbag? (LOL)
My senses told me something was wrong, but also before October 8, 2013, Google had just rolled out its latest update (Penguin 2.1 (#5) on October 4, 2013). By predicting it, we'd blown over our high sales mark in several years. I worked every day, including weekends. Anytime my shit-head business partners wanted to reach me; they knew not to call my cell phone; call my office phone because all I did was work!
When tasked with a project, I always completed it on time and to specifications. I can't say the same for them. “My abilities” made the de facto “auditor” to look over new sites for mistakes because of my “eye for detail”. Was it my “eye for detail” or their will to be half-assed?
Some of both I imagine.
My partners were pissed because of TTBoy, but the ironic part was just months before, JC and Morgan wanted to drop TTBoy and replace his content with “some other n#gg&r porn” (their words not mine). I was the sole dissenter. I said we should keep TT, because we should have dumped him when 8 million was on the table, not now.
Killing The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg
Sensing an ambush, I printed out statistics and log of everything I’d been contributing. Surely they weren't stupid enough to kill the goose that laid the golden egg? I wrote the companies “creative accounting practices,” along with bank reports proving if I didn't continually monitor my account, I just wasn't paid. I guess they hoped I wouldn't notice, and several times I didn't. I was wise to the tactic because I'd caught JC red-handed jacking our affiliates, something I insisted must stop.
So on October 8, we had to have this meeting in Seal Beach. I politely asked if we could move this date. I would have to drive to from LA to seal Beach, then to North Hollywood to get my equipment and then Pasadena to play and finally back home; which is tantamount to a sentence of being trapped all day in LA traffic.
No, it had to be Oct 8, and you will see why these ruthless bastards were so inflexible with that date!
You can see the 181 mile treck below:
The Dangerours Meeting
John “JC” Baumgartner, who called the meeting, said not to worry “the meeting won't be a long”. By my calculation, I was responsible for all of the house traffic which was about 85%, especially after the Google update. Our biggest affiliate was bringing in less than 5% of total sales, my other business partners being responsible for 0%.
This was going to be an execution.
Doug started the meeting by saying, “Does anyone need anything before we start?”
I made a joke “ shotgun” (to stick in my mouth). Doug left the room for a minute and returned with a large rifle and laid it on the desk.
Ut Tu Brute?
JC is a tough guy who spent a lot more time buying guns, taking steroids and going to MMA classes. JC gets his way through intimidation, so he opened the meeting in one of his trademark steroid rages.
JC, “Well Jay we're not even sure what you do.”
Thinking to to myself, “Pretty much everything.”
While I was working 16 hour days, JC had tried to start:
- A location business
- Got a real estate license
- Tried to start an energy drink
- Joined a 1% motorcycle gang
- Disappeared once or twice a week on cocaine binges in Vegas
- Spent a year trying to buy a strip club
- Invent a green motorcycle
- An MMA twitter site
- That’s just what I can think of; I’m sure there is more
JC proceeded to pull out this chart showing how our sales weren't nearly what they were four years ago.
Well, guess what JC?
NOBODY'S SALES ARE WHAT THEY WERE 4 YEARS AGO!
The fact that we were still taking DVD content and rebranding it into websites made us a dinosaur. The amazing part was we were the LAST DINOSAUR on earth after the meteorite hit the Yucatan coast. Thanks to my abilities as a marketer and aptitude to pull free traffic from anywhere, I had extended our shelf life WAY past its expiration date. I suggested many times that we update our business model or get into the mainstream. That would cost money and cut into what JC had been stealing.
There was a brief attempt to pull out all of the spreadsheets of stats I put together the night before. I might as well spent that previous evening taking one massive shit because I was never even given a chance to present them.
Next came Sandra McCarthy, who I had supported HER AND HER FAMILY for two years while waiting for OC Modeling to become profitable. Now that she had a lucrative escort empire running in Chatsworth, she arbitrarily decided she didn't want to pay me back. Little did I know I had been heading up a RICO sized prostitution empire with my property as a bond, and not reaping the proceeds.
All of a sudden, she magically has 39k in cash, which was the cost of my buyout from OCModeling that was written somewhere deep in the annals of the contracts that I should have read better her lawyer, I mean my attorney….I mean, their lawyer wrote.
Vanderpool Law: Now Accepting Payment In Cash, Checks and Prostitutes!
Doug had always worked for us “gratis” because Sandra would send hookers over as payment for legal services. She used him frequently to squash disputes with other pimps, models and file phony restraining orders.
Maybe now you are starting to see my confusion, conundrum, and conflict of interest.
Morgan McNerney pulled out a huge stack of papers with stuff scanned from my FaceBook page. He accused me of being a drug addict. Ironically, Morgan just got out of rehab last year. You shouldn't throw stones when you live in a glass house. He admitted that fact to me while asking that I remove Morgan McNerney Newport Beach Tranny King post.
As they started to produce each page and say how “Ï made the company look bad.”Which to me seemed rather ridiculous, considering WE ARE IN THE FUCKING PORN BUSINESS.
Among the items they said made them look bad was some statements made affirming my atheism, the infamous Mr. Markus song, stuff from my band, the fact I'd contracted tuberculosis and was jumped by some steroid asshole were also problems for the “company image” for some reason
“Who was I 15 years ago, before YOUR decision to get involved with me?”
They didn't say anything.
So, I reminded them, “The same guy you see right now, if anything, I've mellowed out. Now that money is tighter, me being me is a problem?”
Doug asked if they all could step outside.
[Insert Canned Speech]
He Said, “Guys have been in this chair many times. Take them up on their buyout, or they will just force you out.”
It's not the best idea to take advice from a lawyer who arranged a meeting with your business partners and compensated for legal services in hookers.
I know that now anyway.
I liked Doug, I thought he was my friend, but the situation had become too convoluted. I should have gotten a real lawyer, fought and not taken their paltry 100K.
Doug handed me that dumb stack of papers, you said “go outside and shake their hands,” but I refused. As I left, those bastards were in his office busily shutting down anything I had tied to the company.
By the time I was back in LA, my credit card, bank, and phone cut off as I ran out of gas not far from my house. There was still had a show to play that night, which I managed to pull off, despite the mental trauma.
So Now What?
It's been a stuggle been trying to get back on my feet since, but between identity theft, bogus restraining orders, lawsuits, evictions, and not being able to play guitar anymore; it just isn't happening.
I'm not living anymore.
I'm just existing.
Karma and Sobriety Are Dumb
The sad thing, the last four years of my life have been my most sober.
Life was immeasurably better when “I was fucked up all the time.”
In summation, Sobriety is a concept, just like karma. Being sober (ish) has done nothing for me mentally, spiritually, health, relationship or money-wise.
Remaining are 150 pages of “the DTMHTRML good times” on my hard drive, but I can't get in the headspace to publish it. Life has changed so much; I don't feel like I was ever that person.
All of my “friends” have disappeared.
I wouldn't want to hang out with me either.
There isn’t a day I don’t think about suicide.
That said, this will be the final blog.
One reason for not drinking is I know my subconscious mind has the courage to do what my conscious mind doesn't.
It's time to get a bottle of Jäger, check out of this miserable world.
Every day above ground isn't a good one.
It's time to change that.
On Reddit WTF: